shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
