I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
