i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
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West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
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Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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