Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
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I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
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you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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