I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
