maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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