We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
