how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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