Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
