remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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