never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
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Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
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WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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