i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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