I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
