I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize