Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
