I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
