So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Randomize
