his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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