On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
