Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Found your dick twin last night
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
