hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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