Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Do vagina's smell?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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