Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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