I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Come on in and take your pants off
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