U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
