PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
