i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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