So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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