i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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