You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
