i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.