they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?