dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.