So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
