Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
