Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize