I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
