we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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