so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
