Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
