I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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