I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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