Just fell off a train. Bad.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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