Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he puts the penis in happiness.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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