Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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