maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
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Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
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I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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