You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
