Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
