whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
