remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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