This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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