I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Randomize
