at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize