the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
