you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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