We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Randomize
