There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize