I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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