I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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