Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
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I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
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Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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