You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
