Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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