That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
